Saturday, April 2, 2011

Joy Ride 2 and The Horror of It All


I had to review Joy Ride 2: Dead Ahead for Film Threat recently.  It was an exercise in self-control to not stop the DVD and throw it into traffic.  Honestly, people who hate horror movies aren't far off the mark in their loathing when stuff like this exists.   Read my review if you don't believe me.  I'm not going to rehash it other than to say, if you're dumb enough to rent it and dumb enough to watch it, you deserve to have your time wasted.

As a horror movie fan, I have a lot to apologize for.  The Friday the 13th franchise.  Scream and all its sequels.  Freddy becoming a wise-cracking anti-hero and forgetting about his child molester roots.  The '90s.  Of course, there are films I consider to be classics not only of horror, but of cinema, such as the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre.  When I'm forced to watch something like Joy Ride 2, however, I first get embarrassed and then angry.  Embarrassed that dreck like that passes as horror, and then angry that it does.  If that's someone's first horror movie (and every horror movie is someone's first horror movie), then great -- there's nowhere to go but up ... if they give it a chance.  That's the problem, isn't it?  Some things are so bad people end up not giving their peers a second chance.  Thank you, assholes.

I have a hard enough time defending my love of horror cinema.  I don't need the "help" of crap like this movie.  You make my job harder, and that's why I come down hard on the likes of you.  Perhaps if I call you out on the crap you make, you'll make something better next time.  Or maybe not.  Maybe some filmmakers are quite content with making crap.  I bet some of them even know it is crap.  They just don't care because someone somewhere is going to watch it.  That is as guaranteed as them churning out more garbage.  Heaven help you if I get my hands on it, though.  As you can see in my review, I am far from kind when a horror movie lets me down.  And I'm near merciless when the horror movie turns out to cater to the stupid, too.  Make better films, horror directors of the world.  Make them scary, let loose, and for the love of everything holy, stop making sequels.


Mandatory FTC Disclaimer:  I was sent Joy Ride 2 to review.  I hated it.  Read the review.  If you click on a link or ad in this post, I may get a small commission, which I will use to see anything but a horror sequel.  Promise.

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